Howdy friends. Tonight Sam and I are enjoying a night at home. By enjoying I mean we have both been sick, so he's playing video games and I'm ordering our thank yous for the wedding.
We're basically all packed and ready to leave on Saturday! Grandma Oda and Sharon came by to help me box up our kitchen stuff today, which was so helpful! It's so funny how much time and effort I put into setting up everything...and then all the effort it took to take it down. It makes me realize how silly all the "stuff" is that we pile up in our lives. Don't get me wrong - I want to create a nice atmosphere for my husband so that he has a cozy home to return to. But knowing Sam, I doubt he cares if it's set up perfectly to look like a Martha Stewart magazine.
Our new place is much smaller than this place, which I'm grateful for. It forces us to really figure out what we need and eliminate all that extra junk. I tend to be a "don't-throw-it-away-what-if-I-need-it-tomorrow-even-though-I-haven't-used-it-in-five-years" type of person, so it is difficult for me. I just never want to be wasteful, so I don't want to throw out something I might one day need. But...I also don't want to end up a hoarder, so it's good when life forces us to clean out the crap.
I want to do that with everything else in my life, too. What do I need to simplify? What am I making too complicated? I know one thing - I'm giving up on trying to fit some image of a perfect homemaker. I don't know what it is about getting married, but it suddenly made me worry about that stuff, which I never did before. I was always more of a "Mary" than a "Martha" (look up Luke 10:28-32 if you don't understand the reference) and suddenly I've switched. It's a change I am not proud of. I used to be more concerned with seeing friends and cultivating relationships, and suddenly I find myself worried with what people will think when they come over. Is my house clean enough? Is it decorated cute? Um...who cares?
I want to blame society for it. First they convinced me I needed to have a perfect wedding and stressed me out with it. Now I feel like they've convinced me that if I'm not sewing homemade curtains while my homemade bread is baking in my spotless oven, I'm a failed wife. I don't like that. Here's the real story. I love to bake, but Sam and I are trying to be healthy, so I don't do it often. Cooking is not nearly my strong point, but Sam is thrilled if I put together a simple meal of cous cous and chicken. I would love to learn to sew to make my own clothes, but I've had a sewing machine sitting in my closet for almost 2 years...and still haven't learned. I love to knit but haven't done it in forever. So there you have it. My name is not Martha...neither Stewart, nor the one from the Bible.
So...sorry my blog is not full of ideas for centerpieces for Thanksgiving, or recipes for homemade pumpkin muffins. Maybe some day that stuff will have more of a place in my life...(like if I ever become a mom, which is another foreign idea to me). But for now? I'm going to keep it simple.