Has anyone ever felt that having too much time makes them more lazy? Or is that just me? What's the saying about idle hands? They are the devil's tools, or the devil's workshop? Either way, I don't like them. Not being busy is not good for me. I'd rather not be overwhelmingly busy either. Just the right amount of being productive and having time to live life.
It seems when I'm really busy, I'm quite motivated. For example, if I know I only have a small window of time between, say, work and class, I'll use it to work out or do homework or clean the house. But when I don't have a job (such as the past month) and I know I have plenty of time to do things (such as tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...) I end up being rather unmotivated. It's such a silly thing, because you'd think with all my free time I'd get loads of things done. This is not so. When I'm given lots of free time, I waste lots of free time.
I don't like this. I'd really rather just use my free time to do all the things I've always wanted to do (like learn the banjo or write a book) instead of watching yet another episode of Arrested Development while I halfheartedly dust the living room. I never sleep in, which I am pretty sure is my mom's fault. (We had to get up early every Saturday for chores, and she rarely sleeps past 6am.) This means I feel like I'm wasting my day if I sleep past seven. I usually make a list of what I need to get done that day (I'm pretty ridiculous and make lists for everything, especially my to-dos) and I always get started right away. It seems like this would be a recipe for being extremely productive during my unemployed times, but somewhere around ten o'clock I lose steam and feel like I haven't gotten enough done and pretty much stop.
Why do I do this? I don't know. I think I can blame my dad for the need to feel productive, and both my parents for my perfectionism. (Do you like the way I pass the blame onto everyone else?) Regardless...I am very grateful to have started a new job today. I already feel myself being more motivated (such as blogging tonight) and I'm pretty excited about the job. School will start in January and then I'm pretty sure I'll be quite the productive little ant. But I'd really like to conquer this silly pattern I've developed of being such a bum. I'd like to be wise with my time and make the most of each day, whether or not I have a ton of things to do.
And now...time for dishes and laundry. Look at me!