I really love starting over. I love mornings because God provides another chance to do the things right that you did wrong yesterday. Or, as one of my favorite literary characters, Anne Shirley puts it, "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" Indeed, Anne with an "e", that is a lovely thought. I love sunrises for the same reason, because they represent a new beginning. I have all the hope in the world that this time I can actually do it better and get it right. Not many people know my whole story, but I can say from personal experience that you don't run out of chances until you're dead, and it's never too late to be who or what you wish, however impossible it may seem. This fills me with limitless hope.
I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.
-Lamentations 3:19-24, The Message
Perfectly articulated, the above passage is exactly why I'm so full of hope. I've known despair, but I also know what it feels like to see the first ray of sun after a long, painful storm. That reminds me that there is never reason to give up.
(This blog has really gone far away from where I intended it to go, but this is really my favorite part about writing, that it just takes the reins and I type furiously as I try to keep up. It is when the words stumble slowly that I know I'm not in the best frame to write.)
This blog was really meant to be about my goals for 2011 (I have many, typed on a spreadsheet) and how excited I am to begin pursuing them. The one thing I need to be careful of is not to give up once I make a mistake (which I know I will). My all-or-nothing perfectionism is one of many thorns in my side that I fear I'll never be fully rid of. But because I am aware of it, I can more easily control it. I must keep reminding myself that even if I have an ice cream cone (one of my goals is to eat healthier, of course), it doesn't mean I may as well give up completely now that my perfect record has been marred. It just means I can try again, this time with a little more determination.
I hope whoever is reading this has goals in mind, with hopes of growing into a better person. The worst thing to do is give up hope and remain stagnant in whatever bad habits or hangups you may be currently caught up in. And I wish you strength and diligence in your pursuit, and a very happy and healthy 2011. Cheers.