I need your help, people. I think...I think I need to learn how to relax.
So I got sick Monday. Woke up at 5am on Tuesday. Did about four hours of homework. Scrubbed my house clean. Ran errands. Felt more sick. On Wednesday I did the same thing. Woke up early. Did lots of homework. Cleaned more. Ran more errands. Went to work. Chased kids. Drove home from work cursing myself for doing too much and not letting myself get better because by this time I was feeling lousy.
I tried last night - I really did! Sam made me a hot toddy and I took a bubble bath while I read a magazine. I didn't do anything productive. This morning I was wide awake when Sam's alarm went off at 5:15, feeling completely guilty for wasting time the night before. That bossy husband of mine refused to let me get out of bed, saying some nonsense about how sleep would help me feel better. (Willow was on my side - she promptly jumped on my pillow and regurgitated her kitty food so I got to get up. Thanks, kitty.) But Sam made me go back to sleep after we cleaned it up...the warden.
I have to say, sleeping in till 7:30 made me feel so much better! It started to make me think that there might be a reason people enjoy sleeping in??? So...I got up and got back to work. More random errands, planning, and homework nonsense. Felt pretty sick still so I called my supervisor to tell him I couldn't come in to work. An hour later I felt guilty and told him that if they were understaffed I would come in. He told me I was silly and to stay home.
Really though, how do I relax? If there is anyone who has mastered this, please help me. Every time I try to take it easy, I end up feeling guilty and working my tummy into knots with stress. So really. I've tried baths. I've tried cutting back on caffeine. I've tried watching Friends episodes. And yes, I read my Bible and pray...and I end up reading verses in Proverbs about being lazy and feel guilty even more! Ahhhh...
Funny part...the magazine I read was People, and it had the "World's Most Beautiful Women" in it. All of them had the same beauty secret: sleep. And not letting stress affect them.
Help people, or I'm on the fast track to ugly.